I spent ten years as the only singleton at Christmas


Are you dreading another Christmas as the only singleton in your family? Today I’d like to share some success stories to provide some reassurance and help you keep going.

I’ll start with my own, only because I know it so well.  I spent ten years as the only singleton in my family. Every year, going ‘home’ for Christmas ran as follows:

I would catch the train ‘home’ on Christmas Eve. I always left going home until the last possible day and then I would catch the latest train without leaving it too late.  Usually, I’d catch the 2 pm train from London Euston and arrive at my brother’s home at around 5 pm.

I’d get there just before dinner. One year, I arrived at my brother’s house as my sister-in-law was preparing a festive spread. Her decorations were all up, her presents wrapped under the tree, her cupboards were stocked and her kids were excited about Santa Claus. I looked at her and thought,      “I wonder what that feels like?”

What does it feel like not to travel on Christmas Eve? What does it feel like to walk down the stairs on Christmas Eve knowing that you’re ready and prepared for a family Christmas? Back then I couldn’t ‘feel’ it.

I have so many memories (about 10 years’ worth) of standing at the platform in London Euston wheeling my suitcase and Christmas presents home. I confess that I dreaded going ‘home’ for Christmas Day.

I love Christmas, but being the only singleton in my family wasn’t much fun.  One year, as I walked past my Dad to take my place at the table for Christmas dinner, he looked at me and said, “why are you still single?” followed by “you should be settled and in your own home by now.” I still remember it. I remember the way he looked at me, full of sadness and frustration. I felt his pain too.

I never used to stay home longer than a couple of days. One year, I left on Boxing Day. I asked my brother to drive me to the train station. I jumped off the train at Marylebone, walked outside the station, breathed in the not-so-fresh London air and thought; “Great, that’s Christmas over again; I don’t have to do that for another year.”

If this resonates with you, I feel you.  I feel you with every cell in my body because I’ve been there too.  These days, I also know how it feels to wake up on Christmas Eve knowing that I don’t have a train to catch.  I’m going to repeat that ‘I don’t have a train to catch!’  It feels incredible.

Let me share another success story with you: two of my clients are getting married this December.  One is already married, she married her Mr. Right last weekend and she kindly let me share her wedding pictures.

Her story is incredible, and I’ll share what I can whilst respecting her privacy. She dated for years and had hundreds of dates.  Literally hundreds. When she met her Mr. Right, she was recovering from illness, living back at home and unemployed.  During our consults, she would repeatedly say, “it’s not going to happen for me.”  I kept telling her it would.  She would list all the reasons why it’s wasn’t going to happen for her and I would shoot them all down.

During one consult I told her: “It’s going to happen for you, I can ‘see’ you happily married, standing in your kitchen with your children playing close by.”  She paused momentarily to take in the ‘vision’ and that seemed to do the trick. I am thrilled to say it did happen to her.  I always knew it would.  As a coach, often I can see my client’s ‘good’ when she can’t.  And, I can ‘see the good’ for so many of my clients.

If you’re facing another Christmas alone, let me convince you: you too will meet your Mr. Right.  It’s only a matter of time, together with the right techniques and strategies.  There’s a formula for meeting Mr. Right.  A set of instructions clearly laid out that worked for me and are working for so many of my clients.

I’ll be sharing these techniques with you again next year when I run my popular ‘Find Love Online’ Masterclass. In addition, I’m also planning a laid-back, informal meet and greet where we can meet for a drink or two.  I’ll share more details with you shortly.

In the meantime, if you are dreading going ‘home’ for Christmas, let me assure you that it will end.  This could be your last Christmas as the only singleton. Imagine that!



P.S. If you’d like to see my client’s wedding pictures pop over to my Facebook page here.

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